What to Write, What to Write

Do I dare say that after 13—count ’em, 13—days of being sick with the flu, today I feel I’ve finally turned the corner on this bug and am ready to write, really write, again? I’m almost afraid to say it, because my #1 New Year’s resolution this year (my only New Year’s resolution, in fact!), was to stay healthy this year. That didn’t seem like it would be too hard, seeing I was in the hospital twice last year and suffered a kidney infection on top of that.

But that’s not what I want to blog about today. What I want to blog about today is, “What do I want to blog about today?”

You’d think after 13 days down, someone who blogs as consistently as I would have a list of ideas a mile long. But since flu makes your brain incapable of storing ideas, and drains any you have before getting sick, uh, no—I don’t have that list.

So I’m sitting at my desk and I look over and see a fun 2013 calendar Managing Editor Kimberlee Williams at Vanilla Heart Publishing—a.k.a., my awesome Madam Publisher—sent me. Each day lists commemorative events that are occurring.

Some you expect to see, e.g., Martin Luther King Day is next Monday. Some, though, are so out there I simply don’t know if I have the time to prepare for them.

Example: January 28 is Kazoo Day. I used to have a kazoo. In fact, when I was growing up, there was a time both my parents and all four of us kids had kazoos, and if we weren’t singing in 6-part disharmony as we hiked, we were playing—get this—hymns on the kazoo. Yes, hymns. My father was a Methodist pastor and my mother both a music teacher at my elementary school and the church’s choir director, so it didn’t seem strange at all to me to be climbing the trail to Alum Cave Bluff in the Smokies while playing “Bringing in the Sheaves” on the kazoo.

I kind of miss those days.

Next month we have Hippo Day on the 15^th, the day after Valentine’s Day. Hippo Day? What the heck is that supposed to be? Scott and I have been wanting to take a trip down to the San Diego Zoo to visit their baby panda, who just went on display a few weeks ago. I think I’ll suggest we go on the 15^th and check out the hippo display as well. Perhaps take them flowers? Is taking your local zoo’s resident hippo a bouquet an appropriate way to celebrate Hippo Day? I wouldn’t think so. They’d probably eat them. Perhaps I should call the zoo and ask them the proper way of celebrating Hippo Day, because I’m clueless.

I kind of like the sound of For Pete’s Sake Day, which is February 26, if for no other reason than my dad used to say that a lot, and I think I’ll hear him laughing with glee in the afterlife, running around (flying around? I can’t imagine my dad with wings) snorting, “Oh, for Pete’s sake!” over and over again. Perhaps I’ll have to make a point of saying and/or writing it at least a dozen times that day. (Smoky takes out yellow highlighter and highlights February 26.)

March 28 is Weed Appreciation Day. I have to agree with Emerson on this one: “A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” My neighbor back in Illinois had one of those pristine lawns that was always dark green and probably more toxic than Three Mile Island with all the chemicals he used to spray on there (and which, to my dismay, often blew into my own happily organic and “weed”-choked yard, rendering it, on second thought, not-so organic). He’d never know the bitter zing of fresh dandelion greens on his salad, or the healing properties of a poultice steeped in tea made from crushed plantain leaves, which will soothe any backache or bruised muscle. One man’s weed is another woman’s wildflower. I will definitely celebrate Weed Appreciation Day, perhaps by placing a bouquet of wildflowers on my dining table on the back deck (where the hippos can’t eat them; I’m worried now if I don’t send them flowers on Hippo Day they might come after me).

I wonder what the nation’s corporate bigwigs will think when there’s a mass exodus at noon by their employees on June 3, which is Leave the Office Early Day? I’m sure glad I’m my own boss. I’m not likely to fire myself for slacking off on the job. Besides, I deserve to take off early. I’m one of those people who don’t wait until April 5 for Walk to Work Day. I walk to work every day. Pay no attention to the fact my office is attached to my kitchen.

Ooh, ooh, June 25 is Beatles Day! I’m going to have to be sure all my favorite songs by the Fab 4 are downloaded onto my computer. Might even have to upgrade my speakers for this one.

Of course, there are days I think everyone should take seriously. January 23 is Pie Day. I’m hoping Scott is over his flu by then, because he’s a better Pie Man than that guy on Pushing Daisies, which never got off the ground because of the Hollywood writers strike, but that’s another story. Everyone should take advantage of a day where you get to eat pie and not feel guilty. And Scott will be delighted there is a day honoring his favorite thing to bake. February 11 is Clean Out Your Computer Day. Most of us should probably obey; I know I have a lot of junk on mine. As a writer and editor, I think every day is National Grammar Day, although the calendar says that isn’t until March 4. But unless you want to appear illiterate, everyone should try to use gooder English every day, not just that day. (That was a joke, folks—I don’t need my comments box filled with people saying “Hah! You wrote “gooder English!”)

So, to return to the beginning, I think I’ll pour myself a cup of tea and read through this calendar. Who knows? If I study it hard enough, I might just find something to blog about today.

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